Wish you were here.

I have been waiting for this moment for so long. Graduation! Finishing college, getting a job, becoming an adult, becoming my own individual. What an exciting and proud moment for an accomplished graduate. Your friends and family all gather around and watch you walk across the stage to accept your diploma. There is a big party in your honor to congratulate your success. Your friends take you out for the night to celebrate no more papers and exams ever! So many people to love you and congratulate you--for me, there is just one person missing. My mom.

When I was 16-years-old, my mother passed away from breast cancer. It was really hard for me. I was devastated. I was sad because I missed her--because I needed her help to grow up and learn about life.

Now I'm 23 and I'm finally okay. I wont say that I got over the situation--but I'd say I got used to the situation. I've learned to accept it and embrace my life as it is. I don't need help anymore to grow and learn--I'm able to do that on my own now. But I still wish she was here to just be her and live life with us. I wish she could be here to see me making these accomplishments. I wish I could see her smile and laugh and give me a huge hug because she's excited. No matter how used to it you get--you will never get used to the fact that they are missing out on your life.

This is a major thought that goes through my mind on a regular basis. She wont be able to watch me graduate. She wont be able to watch me marry the man I love. She wont be able to meet my children or watch me raise my family. I have a whole life to live and she wont be able to be there to watch.

And I know I'm not the only one.

I know that there are so many people in this world that are experiencing the same thought process. Whether it be caused my death, divorce, distance, disaster. There are so many people who know the feeling of wishing someone was there. Wishing that special someone was able to make it.

I know that you are not able to change life and there is no reason to dwell on the things you cant change--with that said, I change the title of my blog to: "Wish you were here--but dont worry, I'm thinking of you the whole time."

I wish so badly that my mother could be with her family experiencing her life within our lives. So in her honor, all we can do is think of her and love her. When I walk across that stage for graduation, I will give my father the biggest hug and think to myself in my heart about how huge my mom would hug me because she's so excited. On my wedding day, I will walk down the aisle with my father and think to myself in my heart how happy my mother is to see everything so beautiful and true. When I raise my family--I will strive to be as good a mother as she was and think to myself in my heart how happy she must be watching me every step of the way.

To anyone who has lost a loved one--I'm so sorry. But always remember they are in your heart and the way to keep them alive within you is to cherish their memory and live to make them proud!

Wish You Were Here. A song that I heard with my mother when I was 13-years-old. We thought it was so sad-- but so beautiful.